how to ask your wedding party using their love language

By Gianna Bellino
​Hiring Manager

Your wedding is such a special day to you, and when the time comes to tie the eternal knot, it’s important to have the right people by your side supporting you and sharing this experience with you. Whether you are the bride or the groom, you want to make sure whoever you choose to be in your bridal party is someone that will encourage you, support you, and remember all of the little details so you don’t have to fuss or stress on your big day. 

Not only do they need to support you, but you also need to support and appreciate them. Remember that whoever you ask is going to have a lot of work to do for your wedding. The maid of honor and best man will plan the bachelor/bachelorette party, guard the rings, help organize so many important details, and most of all be your number one support. 

If you have already chosen who those special people are in your life, then you want to invite them in a way that will flatter them, surprise them, and get them excited about saying “yes.” Most importantly, you want to invite them in their own language. We all have a love language that we speak with all of our friends, not just in our romantic relationship. If you have a successful friendship with someone that will be there on your wedding day, then the odds are, they are already someone who you know well. If you know their love language, then ask them to be your bridesmaid/groomsmen in a way that will make them feel appreciated and loved. If you don’t know their love language- I encourage you to find out. It will help you along the way in your relationship to make sure they feel valued in the friendship and it will help things run smoothly on your wedding day.

1. Words of Affirmation
​If your friend is someone who is always encouraging you, or is asking for encouragement, then it may be that their love language is words of affirmation. If that’s the case, then you will make them feel special by telling them just how much they mean to you. By replicating the way you were asked to wed, you can ask your bridesmaid in a unique and memorable way by “popping” the question. Place a long, heartfelt note in a balloon, blow up the balloon, place it in a box, and when they open the box, the balloon will float out. After they pop the balloon, they will read the note, and give you and emphatic “YES!” If you want to make it a little more interesting, you can place confetti in the balloon, or even provide a little speech affirming even more how much they mean to you. The key is to let your words be abundant and generous in the way you ask this person.

Source:
​https://unsplash.com/

Source: http://www.modwedding.com/2015/02/15-creative-ways-propose-bridesmaids/

2. Gifts: Give them a Gift Box
​For someone whose love language is gifts, you will want to ask them to be a part of your bridal party in a tangible way. One way that you can flatter this friend is to put a gift box together for them. Everyone loves receiving gifts, but this particular friend is someone who feels extra loved and appreciated by the gifts more than words or actions. After all is said and done, this bridesmaid/groomsman may end up spending a lot of money on you for your day since they are gift-givers and they will support you tangibly. To start out this relationship letting them know they are appreciated, put a gift box together full of things they will love. If she is a wino, then give her a customized bottle of Rose and some wine glasses. If he is a coffee lover, given him a fresh bag of beans and a gift card to his favorite coffee shop. The more you can fill it with creative, cute gifts custom for them- the better. It doesn’t have to cost a fortune, it just has to be tangible and let them know you are thinking of them. Personalize it with a simple note asking them to be by your side.

3. Acts of Service
If your friend’s love language is acts of service, then it won’t require any money, but it will require some creativity on your part. Someone whose love language is acts of service will feel loved and appreciated when someone does something for them. Acts of service is anything you do for them that may not be very fun, but it will make them feel supported and appreciated. If they are a mother, you can offer to come help them clean their house or to babysit and when the job is done, pop the question. If he is a foodie, you can cook a nice meal for him and ask him at dinner. If they are working on a project, you can offer to help them complete it. Find a way to cater to them, and pair that act of service with a creative way to ask them to be in your bridal party such as a card or a spa day, so they can rest while you help them complete their chores.

Source:
​https://unsplash.com/

Source: http://www.modwedding.com/2015/02/15-creative-ways-propose-bridesmaids/
​https://unsplash.com/

4. Quality Time
​If your friend is someone who feels loved and appreciated when you spend time together, then it may be that their love language is quality time. This person doesn’t want you to serve them, buy things for them or even compliment them, they simply want you to be with them. It may not sound like much, but to them it’s the most special thing you can do for them. To ask this person to be your bridesmaid or groomsman, take them out to do something they enjoy, just the two of you. Take them to dinner, drinks, or on a hike. The key is to have an experience, where you and them can spend some quality one-on-one time. When the night is through, pick up the tab, and ask them with a smile to be your bridesmaid or groomsmen. The key is to pay attention to them fully, not be distracted by your phone, or anyone else. Make them feel special and loved by being with them and giving them your full attention. This whole evening will be the invitation, and to someone who loves quality time, they won’t be able to say no!

5. Physical Touch
​If this is your friends top love language, but it is not yours, it may be a little tricky for you. But don’t worry- it’s actually much more simple than you think. This friend whose love language is physical touch loves hugs, massages, and they love to sit close to you. When you ask this person, use any creative variation mentioned above, such as giving them a gift box, or by gifting them a massage… but when you do ask the this question, make sure you touch their leg, sit close to them, and hug them when they say “Yes.” Whatever you do- don’t ask this person over the phone or text, be close by their side.

Source:
​https://unsplash.com/

Hopefully, this blog gave you some inspiration to ask your wedding party. We hope your bridesmaids and groomsmen will feel extra special when you ask them!